Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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