I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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