so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
