Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
