I heard we made out
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
