Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
