Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
