she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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