She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
