chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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