Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
