All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
