Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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