All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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