you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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