sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
