Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
