That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
