at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
