i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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