the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
