I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
