My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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