she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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