question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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