I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
