I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
