all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
