Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
