sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
