I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just googled if crying burns calories
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
