Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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