please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
