I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize