If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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