well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
