I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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