hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
