i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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