I just made out with a guy for $7.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
