its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
