its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
