Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
is that a dick in a sweater?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
