I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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