I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
