i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
