I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
