My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
