btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
