i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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