I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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