I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
