i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
